Writer’s Blah

Sumiko Saulson

ImageWriter’s block is when you can’t think of anything to say. What about when you can write, but you’re so overwhelmed by other types of writing that life requires you to engage in – say, grantwriting, term paper writing, and yes even the maintenance of your own personal blog – that you can’t seem to set aside the time or dredge up the juice to achieve your writing goals, on a creative bent, because your mind is stuffed with stuff and you are constantly exhausted.

That’s not writer’s block!

I have an idea… let’s give it a new name. Writer’s Blah. What do you think?

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Todd the Thanksgiving Turkey NOT FOR CHILDREN! (written @ the age of 15)

I’ve decided to keep these stories as they were written, mistakes and all! What I wanted to do was write a book for adults that was written in the style of children’s books, and I have a whole bunch more! I’m not going to post them all at once, because I’m sure everyone will need a little breathing room from me. 🙂

Todd the Thanksgiving Turkey

Once upon a time there was a turkey named Todd. He was a happy turkey, and he loved to squawk and run about the farm. One day, Mr. Farmer started gathering lots and lots of food from his gardens and fields. He was getting ready for Thanksgiving.

“I wonder what Thanksgiving is,” wondered Todd. So he set out to ask the other farm animals.

“What is Thanksgiving, Ms. Dairy Cow?” asked Todd.

Ms. Dairy Cow felt sorry for Todd, because she knew that Todd was going to be sacrificed for the Thanksgiving meal, but Ms. Dairy Cow was only used for milk, and always would be. So she replied sweetly, “Well, Todd, it’s a joyous thing. The whole family gathers around the table, has a large feast, and celibrates (((I learned how to spell that in 3rd grade, no excuse for the error!!!))) what they are most thankful for, like being with their families and having such a nice meal.”

“Well,” says Todd, “I think that sounds like a good idea! Do you think Mr. Farmer would let me celibrate with them?” (((Made that error AGAIN!)))

Ms. Dairy Cow did not know what to say so she said, “Oh, turkeys are the most important part of Thanksgiving.”

Todd went to bed smiling that night, as usual, but was feeling even more blissful than ever. That morning when he woke up, he noticed Mr. Farmer wandering around with an axe in his hand, and Todd wondered what the axe was for. He went up to Mr. Farmer to ask about the axe and Mr. Farmer exclaimed with such excitement, “I’ve been looking all over for you! Now our Thanksgiving Dinner will be complete!”

And it was all over for poor Todd with one swing of the axe. Mr. Farmer and his family had a lovely meal that night.

“It won’t be the same without Todd around the farm,” thought Ms. Dairy Cow.

The End

Prince Elliot (written when I was 15)

I vaguely remember writing this story. From a series of stories I wrote around the age of fifteen. The collection was called “Children’s Stories,” but quite honestly? I don’t think I’d let a kid read this stuff! For the sake of seeing what progress I have made as a writer (although bear in mind I was trying to make it sound as if it were geared toward kids, hence the simplicity but there are grammatical errors and lack of clarity at times), I am typing it as-is, only changing my name because as some of you know, Joslyn is a variation of my given name. 😉 My sidenotes as I type it up appear (((like so))).

(((AFTER TYPING THIS STORY UP, I must say to please forgive the heavy self-flattery, it wasn’t to be taken seriously, but I cannot be responsible for the opinions of the king and the prince appearing in this story, either. I remember writing this one because my “children’s tales” needed a prince-princess story to make the compilation complete so you can only imagine what the rest of it is like. Plus I was, and still am, a huge nerd.)))

Prince Elliot

Once in a land very far away, there lived a prince. His name was Elliot, and he was a very handsome prince. His father, King Julius, had set out to find him a bride, because he wanted to know who would be inheriting the throne from him along with his son. As they were wandering through the dark forests, they came across several dragons and trolls, which his knights slayed without a problem. Soon, they came to a clearing where they heard the voice of a village girl singing a beautiful song. The song was beautiful, but the way she sang it was not! That’s all they had to hear before the king said “Let us be on our way now, we have no time for such homely creatures.”

So off they went to try to find the perfect girl. Then they came across a young maid with beautiful blonde hair. “Excuse me, Miss?” “Yes,” she said as she turned around. That’s all the king needed to see to know that she would not be a suitable bride for his son. “Oh, I thought you were someone else.” Her hair was beautiful, but her face was anything but! So off they went on their way once again.

As they rode their horses, they began to get weary, when suddenly there was a glowing thread in the middle of a path.

“I wonder what this could be?” said King Julius.

“Why, I do not know, Sir. Perhaps it is a golden thread woven by one of the village maids,” said one of his knights.

As they approached it closer, they saw that it was a gold chain.

“Wherever did it come from?” asked the king, when all of a sudden, the most beautiful, busty (((I can’t believe I wrote that lol, I’m typing as I’m reading this for the first time in years and this conflicts with my recent post. How time changes a person! lol))) brunette that all the land has ever seen came sauntering out.

“My chain!,” (((sic))) said she. “However can I thank you for finding it? I will be forever in your debt!” she said happily as she picked it up and hooked it from her ears to her nose. (((Should’ve been “ear,” and I really did have a chain like that. And I have a lot of piercings.)))

“You’re such a beautiful young girl, the most gorgeous my eyes have ever seen!” exclaimed the excited king. “I would be forever grateful if you could come to my castle and marry my son. Please, tell me your name,” he said basking in the glow of his new discovery.

“My name is Joslyn,” the young gorgeous thing answered as she courtsied. (((I remember looking up “courtsied” for this story!)))

“Then tell me that you will marry my son.”

“We have searched all over the land for someone suitable for my son to marry. So far we have come upon two, but they were not suitable enough. (((Redundancy problem?))) Tell me, how is it that we have not seen you before?”

“Well, you know how the sun comes up every day? Many people would say that it is just a big star, but it is in fact a reflection of my beauty. That is the only logic behind it, and to control something so powerful is such a curse! All of the animals in the forest come to my home just to stare in the windows at me, and when I go into town, all of the boys stop and stare. I have been considered a goddess by many, and told that I definine beauty. It’s so awful!” (((How about a sid of NARCISSISMISMISM?!?!? No, I just thought it would be cool to write myself in as breathtakingly gorgeous ‘cos I knew no one else would have, lol)))

“Well you are so modest for being such a beautiful young girl. Come upon my horse with me and we will go back to the castle so that you can be married.”

So they went off to the castle, and when the prince saw the young beauty for the first time, he fainted, for he had never seen such a vision of loveliness, and as she took a cool wash rag to his head, as he awoke, he fainted again. Finally when he gained consciousness again, he looked at her and was too intimidated by her beauty to even speak. It’s hard to imagine that a prince would find it hard to find words to speak to just a common village girl, but he did. As soon as he began talking to her, he felt more comfortable, because that’s just the kind of person she was. She had a sparkling personality, she could sing, paint, and do pretty much anything. She was very talented. Soon, they were married, because she was the only girl worthy in the whole kingdom (or world for that matter) fit to marry a prince, especially one as handsome as Prince Elliot.

The End