7 Myths About Big Girls—DEBUNKED!!!

Everyone has all kinds of misconceptions about bigger girls, aka BBW’s. Let’s dispell some myths, shall we? This may not apply to everyone, but neither do the stereotypes.


1.) Big girls are lazy.
Untrue. I know people who are on the plus side and they are active in every aspect of their lives, from work to exercise. You know those people who are just so nonstop to a point where it makes you feel inadequate? Yeah. They exist in BBW circles, too.

2.) Big girls don’t take care of themselves.
I spoke to someone who couldn’t gain weight, even though she tried. I know some BBW’s who take care of themselves and watch their diets and integrate exercise in their routines. It’s the same thing. Some people are thin no matter what they do and some people can’t lose the weight.

3.) Meat is for men, bones are for dogs.
Or however the saying goes. I get sick and tired of things that promote big girls over skinny girls. I don’t see one as being better over another. To me, saying we’re better merely because we’re bigger is an attempt to lift ourselves up over someone else based on something that warrants no merit on a person. I think we should all stop with the “skinny is better, bigger is better” talk and just consider plus sized women equal to a girl who happens to be thin, and vice versa. I’m not better than anyone else because of my size, but no one is better than me because of theirs.

4.) Big girls eat a lot more than a skinny girl.
There are some days when I’m starving and eat a lot more than necessary, but my skinny friends readily admit to having those days, too. A lot of my own weight is not because I eat too much, but because I forget to eat for hours on end. Then, by 4 or 5 in the afternoon, I am so hungry I have one big meal or a snack of the unhealthiest things you can imagine. The unhealthier my diet, and the less I eat (in terms of 1 meal a day instead of 3 or 5 small ones) the more I gain. I used to take my dinner plate and put on a normal size serving of everything and eat nothing for the rest of the night (dinner at my house was always around 4pm). So I started putting on the same amount, but I would only have half and save the other half for later, usually around two hours later. I lost weight with that alone. I have heard that some people are so self-conscious of their weight they try to hide whenever the eat anything at all, and sometimes people think it’s because they’re sneaking tons of food. Not necessarily the case.

5.) You can’t be bulimic unless you’re skinny.
And wrong again. It depends how much someone eats. I read that people with bulimia, as opposed to anorexia, are sometimes bigger than what you’d expect of someone with an eating disorder. That’s because of the sometimes larger intake of calories and junk. So don’t overlook the signs if you suspect someone has an eating disorder, just because their body type doesn’t fit the bill.

6.) Plus size girls have low self-esteem.
No. Personally I could care less about my size or anyone else’s, and because I’m comfortable with who I am, I don’t think people “see” my weight. There was a time when I felt it “identified” me and when I stopped obsessing over it, it seemed like people stopped fixating on it as well. In fact, there are a lot of people who are bigger and not only are they unapologetic, but they’re confident about their size. Imagine that!!! But it’s true.

7.) BBW’s have low standards on the dating scene and will take whatever they can get.
OK, now this one couldn’t be further from the truth. I don’t go out with people who are disrespectful to me, and I especially wouldn’t put up with it because I don’t think I can get better. If I give my time to someone, they had better be worthy of it (even if it’s a friend, which is why my circle is pretty tight). There are some guys who prefer thin girls and some who prefer bigger girls. Some don’t really care either way. There are BBW’s who prefer a muscular guy, and contrary to popular belief, there are “Guys like THAT” who like “Girls like us.” The number of thin and/or buff guys who are into plus sized girls actually surprised me. And it’s perfectly OK to accept nothing less than what you want and deserve, even if societal “law” dictates a false perception of the unattainable. I myself am happily single. I’ve found that having a steady boyfriend puts a damper on one’s dating life.

It would be nice to see a more well-rounded view on weight. People tend to address the overweight as being unhealth, but neglect the problem of focusing so much on it that so many girls out there are doing unhealthy things to lose it. I think all in all, people should accept themselves—and each other—for who the are, and not their size. I also think it’s important to focus on eating right and exercise whether a person is at their ideal weight or if they have some extra pounds. And even with that in mind, I think it’s also important to accept that not everyone is going to be the same. Not everyone is going to live the same lifestyle. Not everyone is going to be the same size and it’s perfectly OK. Because if we judge everyone’s expected behaviour by how they appear, we’ll never get past any of these unfair stereotypes.

Seiki: The Start of a Legend

Seiki: The Start of a Legend

Within just one year, give or take a couple of months, 22 year old Seiki has been rising up quickly
on the music scene. Having performedseiki in cities around Texas including Fort Worth, Burlison, Arlington, and Joshua, he has achieved much as a performer. Though he’s Texas-based and what some might call “Underground Hip Hop,” his fan base spans the U.S. and even stretches as far as the U.K. He was also featured as a guest on Davizea “RED” Washington’s radio show, Fuzion World Radio. His music was among the highlighted topic, but he also spoke his thoughts on the recent outcome of the George Zimmerman trial.

All of his achievements, and the fact that he rarely has a weekend off since his recent discovery as a hip hop artist, is testimony to his dedication and the hard work he has put forth in pursuing his dream which is rapidly coming to fruition.

But Seiki is not your typical rapper. He’s a poet. A performer. A dancer. An all-around entertainer, and a very humble, kind person. He has integrated the artistry of everything it takes to bring the A-Game to the table in order to stand above the competition. He can freestyle like no other and in my opinion, would have no trouble keeping up with some of the top names.

When it comes down to art it’s important to expand one’s horizons in order to grow. You can tell Seiki is a hip hop artist, but at the same time you can listen to his music and pick up on the fact that he doesn’t strictly listen to one style because there’s a tone of diversity in his music, along with a trademark mellow flow set to a beat that conveys the emotion of the lyrics. He takes it very seriously and puts forth a tremendous amount of energy that keeps him busy, but at the same time, is able to have fun with it.

For Seiki, it’s not about money or fame, though he projects that image in his performances. Instead, it extends deeper into a genuine love of what he does. And, of course, it’s largely about his fans and supporters. He tries to stay in contact with his fans and uses his voice to make a difference. It’s evident that his style is “confidence,” not “ego.” That’s what makes him special, what makes him stand out, and it’s that same overall attitude of modesty that is taking him straight to the top.

Though there are some who are not quite familiar with the name Seiki, it’s only a matter of time before it’s on the tongues of every hip hop enthusiast around the globe. There are a lot of people who focus on mainstream instead of giving a listen to an artist they’ve never heard of before. But hey, remember that Tupac had to start somewhere, right?

For bookings, fan mail, or if you would like to help sponsor him, you can contact him through his fan page via Facebook, Seiki Hip Hop.

How to Read Auras

Describe someone you know to yourself. It doesn’t have to be a friend or someone you’re close to. It doesn’t even have to be someone you like. Just make the description as detailed as possible. Close your eyes if it helps, and once you feel you have a grasp on that person, go to the next paragraph.

What stood out the most about this person to you? Was it a physical feature? How the person dresses? Or was your description based on how that person makes you feel?

All too often, we judge people because of how they look. How they dress. And the list goes on. Sometimes that breeds a bias or even a prejudice that helps shape our perception of that person. To be able to read an aura, you have to cleanse yourself of that mindset.

I sometimes hear people describe others to me, and even if they like that person they may make a not-so-nice comment about their looks. That alone can hinder one’s ability. It’s all to easy to make assumptions on people, but to see what and who a person truly is, you have to look at someone from the inside.

While I don’t read auras per se, and while I don’t consider myself psychic, I think it’s safe to say I have a deep intuition on people. I can meet someone and tell if they’re going to be my best friend or worst enemy (which is a hyperbole, of course), even if they’re kind to me. Most times, I’m proven right on my instinct because of how they treat the people around them, for better or worse. I never treat them any differently because for all I know, that intuition could be wrong so I try to treat everyone as if they are a friend. The only thing that hinders me is that I want to believe everyone is good, and sometimes when someone has a dark side (which we all have, but I’m talking about the kind of dark side that overshadows the good) I can’t see it. I can feel it sometimes, and I disregard that negative feeling until I have something to go on. I normally don’t hold things against people so it takes a lot for me to say whether I found a reading to be right or not. And there are times when I can’t shake a bad feeling that lingers around a person.

But notice how I said everyone has a dark side. For most of us, it doesn’t obliterate the goodness inside. We’ve all made mistakes, and we have to forgive ourselves for our “shortcomings” and put forth that same understanding in order to accept others as they are. It’s really about putting yourself in another’s shoes, because without that, we wouldn’t be able to let grudges go, and we wouldn’t be able to have that understanding and compassion that we’re all human. Some of us hold things against others that has nothing to do with us. There is a tendency to reject those who get into drugs or alcohol, or just don’t live as “we” see “fit.” And note that there’s a difference between someone who has gotten wrapped up in something bad but is a genuinely good person, compared to people who are just—as much as I hate to say it and as rare as I find it to be—evil. Evil people, to me, have a sort of “CAUTION” label on them that you can’t see, but you can definitely feel it. It’s like a “Proceed No Further” sign, and those are the people I generally try to avoid if possible.

Then there are the negative people. They just make you feel like you don’t have a voice because every time you have something good to say about someone or something, they say something negative about it. It’s not that they’re mean or doing it intentionally (in most cases anyway). They just can’t help themselves. This energy can be felt because every time you think something is good, they knock you right down. We may not think of this as an “aura,” but think of it as energy. It’s like a battery being drained. You may not be able to see it, but you can sense the shift in your emotion. Sometimes even just being around that person can make you feel blah.

On the flip side, there are the positive people. Those are the people that may have something going on in their lives that you wouldn’t know about, but if you look on a deeper level, you might be able to sense it. Even though they may be going through something, they make you feel good just being around them, but something might feel a little “off.” You know when someone acts a little out of character and you can tell that? This is similar, except they may not act any different at all, but you just know something is wrong.

Just a couple instances. I knew someone who was a mutual friend that I’d just met one time, and after swallowing my labret ring I was desperate to get in touch with a nurse. I called my friend and asked if So&So was a nurse and sure enough, she was. I just “felt” it. Then I proceeded to ask if I was going to die for swallowing my labret ring.

The most recent one was just a few days ago. I knew this person and I still don’t know her name, but I felt good around her. I thought how great she would be at giving seminars just because she had that kind of vibe about her. I thought about how she would be able to change people’s lives just because in those brief moments when I’m near her, I feel good. Turns out, she’s a motivational speaker, amongst other things.

Something that has always bothered me is that there are people who are good, but their chemistry doesn’t connect quite right. It’s like trying to jam a puzzle piece where it doesn’t belong. That puzzle piece has its place and purpose, and without it, the whole picture won’t come together. It’s every bit as important as any other piece, but it can just make you feel fried. Maybe those people need a little patience in order to relate to them. And learning how to relate to a person who is just off-centre with your own energy is sometimes all it takes. And sometimes it just seems impossible. In those cases it’s hard because you see the good in them and like them as a person, but they might be difficult to be around just because you don’t mesh well.

In most instances we tend to take what people say as truth. When they say they’re okay, or talk about how much they do for others, it’s easy to believe them. Sometimes it’s easy to sympathise, especially when they give a sad story and sometimes you think they’re these great and wonderful Super People because, well, they pretty much tell you they are. But, people sometimes don’t say what they feel, and sometimes people stretch the truth. And some can tell such convincing stories, but when you’re in tune with people as individuals, it makes it easier to tell if they really is the kind of person they claim to be, or if those claims are fruitless. And it can also give a little insight as to whether they’re just saying everything is fine when it’s really not because they don’t want you to worry.

I can sometimes feel when someone’s going through a bad time, even friends that I only know on Facebook. I want so badly to tell them it’s going to be OK before they even bring it up, but I don’t know how well those messages would be received. It’s a bit like infringing upon someone’s privacy, and sometimes I don’t know if respecting their boundaries or telling them what I’m feeling is the best option. Usually it varies from person to person, as well as what kind of mood he or she is in, and I try to go by that. But more often than not, I wait for them to say something because I feel like I would be overstepping a personal boundary. However, when you get a sad vibe from someone and they don’t bring it up, you can still give them a little lift to their spirits without even bringing up your concern for them. There are ways to let people know that there is someone out there who is listening, and who cares.

So try it again. Close your eyes and envision the same person you thought of before. Focus on how they make you feel when you’re around them. Pay attention to what kind of person they are and what kind of image they project. Practice on looking at people as people and cast appearance to the side. It makes it a lot easier once we get past all that. And if you pay close attention to the people you know, you can even read people you’ve just met.

There are two things to remember: First of all, never hold your intuition against someone, because it may be inaccurate, and secondly, there is no room for stereotypes. It’s perfectly fine to be cautious of someone if they give you that vibe, or to automatically like someone. But remember that you may find yourself telling someone your deepest secrets because you “feel” you can trust them, or you might find yourself talking badly about someone that you get a negative feeling from. You may be right about that person, but it may be that the negative feeling was that sort of “puzzle piece” thing I talked about earlier. And trusting someone too much may also be that human desire to believe everyone is good.

For years I have tried to hone those skills, and I often read people just to see how accurate I am. I’ve actually been quite surprised at how on-the-money I have been, and the same goes for those little gut instincts that I keep to myself when I meet someone for the first time. If they’re around enough, I’m able to put it all to the test.

Even so, it’s important to keep that sense of balance when you read someone so that you won’t base a relationship completely on a reading, same as you wouldn’t want to base it on a stereotype. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone involved, including yourself.