Little Suzy (short story)

At one time I offered a free rough draft of Little Suzy on my blog, but now it’s in e-book form and so I’ll include the links where it can be purchased. It’s horror, so if you’re looking for a cute little story you won’t find that here. PS – Special thanks to Steve French for the cover art! Check it out, isn’t it incredible? 😀

You can get it from Smashwords right here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/440576 and best of all, it’s available in every imaginable format!

You can also find it on the Barnes and Noble website here: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/little-suzy-joslyn-corvis/1119589974?ean=2940045960878

Also, please remember to leave a review!


Joslyn Corvis’ Ultimate Bedroom Trick (And it’s not just for the bedroom! Try it now for ULTIMATE pleasure!)

Move ovah Cosmopolitan, I got a tip that will have people begging to get into bed with you! It’s simple, fairly quick, and works wonders every time. Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to achieve ultimate bedroom bliss!

First, start the washing machine. Add just a little bit of laundry soap, enough to make some bubbles but not where it’s super sudsy. I have soft water so I use maybe 1/3rd or 1/4th a cap of detergent, then add just a little tiny bit more after that dissolves into bubbles. Part of the trick is dissolving the soap thoroughly. Then add about a cup of white vinegar. I tend to get vinegar-happy so I never know exactly how much I add. Then take your sheets and note the feel of the material before popping them into the wash (this is important!!!) And then put your sheets in and wash like normal. I rarely use fabric softener, be it liquid or sheet-form, and I’ll explain why later.

Now, when it’s time to dry the sheets, pop them in the drying machine and repeat the same soap-to-vinegar ratio. And put in your favourite night clothes. I have several, but some of my favourites are plain white tee shirts, Hello Kitty booties and slippers, and some fluffy Hello Kitty pants. One even has feet sewn in, but I digress.

Okay, so now your sheets should be nice and dry (I’m assuming there’s a time lapse as you’re reading this) so take them out and note the feel. Much softer than before, huh? Same with the clothes! And don’t get me started on towels! They go from scratchy to soft and fluffy, just like new!

Oh, and I also have to put a disclaimer here so now is as good a time as any. Vinegar can have some effects on colours, although I haven’t noticed personally but if you try this, test it out before using it on your good clothes and bedding and towels. Also, experiment with it so you’re not overwhelming your laundry with the scent (or stench) of vinegar. Now that that’s out of the way, here’s why this method makes everything all fluffly and soft.

Soap leaves residue. So does any kind of fabric softener. They have chemicals that bind the fibres of the material, and they make it scratchy because it doesn’t wash away completely. Especially after repeated washing and drying. It just kinda builds up, like hair product on an 80s pop songstress. The vinegar enhances the soap by making your laundry cleaner, and washing the soap away completely. And it makes it all nice and soft. It’s a sort of counteracting agent, I guess you could say.

After using vinegar in my laundry for a while now, I didn’t notice much difference because I didn’t have much to compare. Until I ran out of vinegar and kept forgetting to get more, which forced me to use detergent alone for an extended period of time, and I also had to use a little more than the 1/3-1/4th capful to feel like it would get clean enough. So I got another giant jug of vinegar. And I washed everything with it. And I realised it does make a difference, because everything is so super soft again! Especially my favourite plain white tee shirt. And it worked wonders on my sheets, too, and my Sherpa blanket, so I thought I’d share this amazing bedroom secret with my blog readers, which usually seems to be someone coming across my blog by sheer accident.


Latest Celeb Gossip: From the Kardashians to Bieber brought to you from Joslyn Corvis

The latest in celebrity news, brought to you from the OFFICIAL blog of Joslyn Corvis.

Some celebrities have gotten in trouble for DUI’s it seems. And some went under the knife to remain youthful. There was also a very scandalous event featuring some very well-known celebrities. But let me digress and get down to the heart of it all.

No one cares! I don’t care that someone got married, broke up, had a baby, lost or gained weight, got into trouble with the law, or any of that other nonsense. Mostly because I have some semblance of a life, though not much, but I just can’t trouble myself with celebrities and their drama or even their joys really. I don’t know these people. I don’t care to. I haven’t watched a whole movie since, like, maybe 2008, and it was probably animated and I probably couldn’t even tell who the voices were if I didn’t know from the credits and pre-existing movie-hype.

Plus I hate gossip. All this “news” is pretty much “DID IT HAPPEN…OR DIDN’T IT” nonsense. Sure, there maybe be pictures involved but really, who cares? I’d rather sift through my own photo albums. That makes me feel good as opposed to the contempt I feel when people I don’t even know or care about grace the covers of magazines telling people how to live, how to lose weight, blahblahblah.

Oh. And even worse. Most of the rag-mags take the most horrible photos of people and post them as a huge attention-getting spread. The headlines say stupid things like, “SO-AND-SO GOING BACK TO REHAB!” or “INFIDELITY! SCANDAL! DRUGS! WHAT’S REALLY RIPPING THEIR MARRIAGE APART!” The last one is stated as an overly-zealous declarative statement rather than a question. Honestly? I DON’T CARE! Because it’s probably all lies, anyway.

Not to mention the fact that if one were to sift my pictures, they’d probably find a photo of me, mid-blink, maybe mid-yawn, making a goofy face that they could use to slander me with and claim that I was drunk and undergoing depression therapy. Possibly at the same time. You wouldn’t even have to doctor my pictures up, and I imagine it’s the same for a celeb they catch off-guard and snap a picture up-close in their face, especially when we’re used to seeing them so uber-glammed up in movies and professional pictures. You can infer anything about a picture, especially when the headline states boldly, “THE LONG NIGHTS OF BINGE-DRINKING AND GAMBLING LEADS TO BANKRUPTCY!”

Celebs annoy me with their self-righteous ways, and of course how is someone in a million-dollar finance bracket going to tell the average mom to raise a child or lose the baby weight when they have every resource necessary to do pretty much whatever they want? There is nothing to be gleaned from those who live so far outside of reality (ie: money factoring into hobbies and things that the average person would like to do, but just can’t afford). I’m not saying they didn’t work hard to get where they are, but let them make movies and entertain us. We shouldn’t make them out to be role models or lifestyle guides or getting into their personal business or acting like they’re saints or terrible people because we just don’t know! I’m indifferent to the things I hear about celebrities for the most part, because I wasn’t there and can’t judge hearsay.

So I conclude my blog with this thought: I’m sick of hearing about what so&so is up to. They’re people. And I expect that they would live like normal people, except they can give a waiter a $5,000 tip for a $2,000 meal. I’m not overly interested when something that happens to everyday people happens to them because I’d rather be excited for someone I actually know who is getting married or having a baby, and be there for my friends who are going through the rough stuff than waste my energy on reading up or watching TMZ speculating about people’s personal lives. In fact, I feel guilty for even mentioning this because every time you even THINK of the name of some rich and famous person, they get even MORE famous. And richer. And the whole cycle annoys me.

 


Why I’m Afraid of Cats

Aside from a couple of cats I fell in love with, despite myself, I’m not a cat person. You’re petting a cat, and suddenly another is jumping up to face off with him and you’re an innocent bystander in the middle of battle. Or you pet them on the wrong spot, like their tummy because they want you to pet their back but then they roll over and you accidentally touch their tum-tum and they scratch you. The cats I knew, I trusted, even though they were sometimes a little unpredictable. And as we know, any good relationship is built on trust. But there were a few things that made me afraid of cats, be it your domestic kitty or a jungle cat.

I was once bitten by a cat when I was petting it. I got scratched in the face by a huge Garfield-like cat who was also orange and fat and fluffy; he was sweet but I tried to gently rouse him from his sleep because he was lying on the guest bed and it was time for me to go to bed. Anyway, he started and scratched me right in the face, and even though he didn’t mean it, it was scary!

Then there was the instance of the dog-cat. Not having much experience with cats, I was walking around the house when my roomies were gone as it was their cat. It had never come to me before but I ran around and it chased my heels like a dog. I found a common thread as I can relate better to dogs. Anyway, I got tired eventually and sat down. The cat jumped on my lap! She’d never done that before and usually shied away. So I was trying to purr, as her human told me he purred to her when she was a kitten to create a bond because that’s how cat-moms communicate with the babies. Instead, I hissed. I figured it was a legitimate cat-sound, and it was, because the cat’s pupils narrowed in an instant and dilated to full size again as it stared at me. She held me captive on a couch and could detect the slightest of my muscle movements as I was trying to get up. The phone rang and I told her it might be important, but she didn’t care. She just held me down, slapping a paw on me, claws out, every time I tried to move. I finally got up, maybe fifteen minutes later, in one brisk, fluid movement.

So I could never trust a cat too close to my body or face, and although that was a faux-pas of my own ignorance, as I thought it would bond us, it helped to seal that terror I had when it came to cats. To make it worse, I’d imagine myself walking through big-cat territory and how you may not even know they’re there! I actually heard once that big cats like mountain lions will watch you if you’re on their turf and unless you misstep or walk too far, you’d never even know you were being watched! I imagine the tiny paw of the housecat I had my scuffle with multiplied by ten, and four-hundred pounds of brute force clawing your body. And the tiny jaws that once bit me amplified by the bit force of jaws that were descended of the great sabre-toothed cat. Even if it’s a “tame” wild cat, they have that unpredictable nature of their smaller household companion counterparts.

And that is why I’m terrified of cats.

 


Anne Rice on her upcoming book reveal and women in horror

Sumiko Saulson and Anne Rice – Two amazing Women in Horror

Sumiko Saulson

Anne Rice Anne Rice

As Women in Horror Month draws to a close, I am very pleased to have the opportunity to ask one of the most successful and prolific women in the genre about her upcoming book reveal, which will be taking place live on The Dinner Party Show on Sunday, March 9 at 5pm PST/8pm EST, in addition to getting her perspective on Women in Horror Month.

As Ms. Rice astutely notes, women have been a force to be reckoned with in horror from the very start.

“ I’m glad to see women honored for horror writing,” says Anne Rice. “We have always excelled in this genre. You could say the genre was created by a woman, Mary Shelley, with her stunning novel, “Frankenstein.” Not enough people have actually read the novel, in which the monster speaks for himself for pages and pages… It’s a stunner. And of course…

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Tattoos and Piercings at Work

Some people may think I’m grasping at straws here, but after some conversations about it, I’m going to try to put it into perspective.

Think about what you wear when you’re going out. How do you apply your makeup? What kind of shoes do you wear? How would you fix your hair? What colours make up the majority of your wardrobe? If you don’t wear any certain colours, maybe you’re drawn to warm or cool colours, or maybe something bright, or funky patterns. Or maybe you’re into jeans and T-shirts, or plaid or Hawaiian shirts. Most of us are known for certain “trademarks.” Maybe hats or piercings or maybe you dress like a cowboy or you’re into hiphop style. Whatever it may be. You know…something that if you change it, people almost don’t even recognise you.

Now think about what you wear to work, or what you’d wear when you have to make a “good impression.” You somehow don’t feel like yourself.

Now for me, I don’t mind wearing a uniform to work. That’s perfectly fine by me. I haven’t had problems in wearing my goth or hip-hop jewellery. Or my bunches of earrings. However, when I volunteer at the Senior Citizen Center, they all want to see my makeup. I usually draw some design around my right eye and sometimes the left, but it’s kinda like my trademark. It makes me feel like “ME.” They always tell me how artistic and creative I am, which feels good. But I am not allowed to wear my piercings other than on my ears, and I don’t even know about the makeup because I’m not brave enough to go all out with it because I have an idea they wouldn’t go for that. Tattoos are allowed if they are not offensive, but what qualifies something as such? We’re a mix of different cultures and beliefs and religions and expressing oneself may have that consequence. Not only that, but tattoos and piercings are such a big part of our culture that I don’t think we can really deny it, and it’s easier to take a piercing out than to force someone to cover up a tattoo or to have their gauged ears surgically sealed. So personally I feel there’s a bit of a bias. It’s OK to have this or that because it’s nearly impossible to hire someone who doesn’t have a gauge or a visible tattoo, but a simple piercing has to be taken out. I get that, because it’s the logical thing, but being that I have piercings, I feel like a child with that, “Why does so&so get to have that but I can’t have this?” mentality. At any rate…

I feel it’s a part of who I am. It’s not so much that it makes me “ME” because I’m going to be me either way. It’s just that I don’t feel like myself. And I don’t know that people quite understand it.

But maybe this will help. If you’re clean cut, or dress in boots and a cowboy hat, or anything that is considered “normal” (although I think being from Texas makes boots and cowboy hats acceptable by default), and you’re forced to die your hair black, or green, and wear thick black eyeliner and black lipstick, maybe a clip-on nosering, and then you’re forced to go out dressed that way, would you still feel like yourself? You’re still you, but you would probably feel a bit awkward. Maybe even as if you’re something you’re not. And what if it were more acceptable to go out dressed that way as opposed to being “normal?”

It’s my personal belief that these things go hand-in-hand with social acceptance of things that are “different” or “not the norm.” Now here’s where I’m probably grasping at straws. A lot of people would say that someone chooses to get tattoos or piercings, which is true. We could just not get them. When we see people dressed normally, people don’t question that as a “choice.” It’s who they are, and automatically and subconsciously thought of as such. But we could easily say that weight, sexual orientation, sexual identification, religion, political views, and the billions of other things that “make up” an individual are choices. We could say that a transgendered person “chooses” to dress as the opposite sex, or to have surgery to complete the process. Or that someone’s religion is “chosen” even if they were born into it. And we can all sit back and make judgements on things we know nothing about or just don’t understand.

I think that what it really comes down to is personal and individual freedom, because when we stop seeing the outside of a person and judging based upon what we find “offensive” about their appearance or about them as a person, only then can we really get to their heart. And sometimes, there’s no reason to try to understand someone, or their personal “choices,” but to just accept them and love them for who they are.


The Moon Cried Blood project update

Sumiko Saulson

Let me begin by saying that Sunday, I was very fortunate to have had The Moon Cried Blood project discussed at length on The Dinner Party Show. You can hear the show right here:

You’re the Guest Episode – The Dinner Party Show

In light of this, I wanted to post an update on the progress with regards to the project:

First of all, we have an editor connected to the project now. Michael Reikowsky. Like most of my Beta Reading team, Michael is someone I met through The Dinner Party Show. He is  a very detail oriented reader with a wonderful understanding of plot consistency and language, and I have every confidence in him. He is not afraid to be honest in his assessment or offer constructive criticism and he doesn’t pull any punches, exactly what I would want in a editor. One of the functions of a…

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