September: PCOS Awareness Month

What is PCOS? It’s an affront to femininity. It is pain. It sets the body into a chain reaction of events all caused by a hormonal imbalance which causes other health and phsyical issues, hence the lesser used term “Chaos Syndrome,” and there is no cure. Sometimes a diagnosis is hard to come by.

My symptoms began at a very young age, around ten, from weight gain to other embarrassing issues I’d rather not talk about. I was teased about having these symptoms, which, at the time I didn’t understand. Granted I never had healthy eating or exercise habits and attributed a lot of the problems to that. And it’s too difficult to me to pinpoint and actually say what some of those symptoms are because I still feel insecure about them.

When I was in my twenties, I had an onset of acne. Like, who gets acne in their twenties, right? I mean, I was already dealing with other things and when people would say horrible things about my weight, it made me feel even lesser of a person because if they couldn’t accept me for that, then how would they accept me for the symptoms I was having that they didn’t know about? I was really good about hiding the symptoms but I still wondered. And the only reason I became aware that something had to be done about it was merely because I had been called out by some kids who were just plain being cruel about it.

And then there was the pain. “Lose weight.” That was a commonly advised “cure-all” from people who didn’t even know I had the condition. When I was fifteen I read up on my symptoms and that’s when I thought, OK. Maybe *this* is what I have. But until then, and either after, the suffering and insecurity it caused was just awful. Imagine having a slew of problems and being put down over it and even *you* don’t know what’s wrong. I was often said to be a hypocondriac so I disregarded my symptoms as just, well, hypocondria.

It was’t until I was around twenty-three when I went to the doctor for some health issues that had become so severe, coupled with pain, that I received my diagnosis. I was ecstatic! At least now it had a name and I knew I wasn’t alone.

I have contacted various women’s groups and even products oriented toward women and items that were geared toward dealing with the symptoms of PCOS, asking them to bring awareness to this issue. I explained that it took me far too long to get a diagnosis, and part of it was from my own embarrassment and just assuming this was “normal” for me. By then it was out of control, but no one was interested in addressing it. Which is sad, really. Why *not* help the demographic that a company’s products are geared toward? I felt a bit disheartened by that. It’s like, does anyone even CARE?

I’ve heard that two out of three women who suffer from bulimia and other eating disorders are thought to have PCOS. If that’s the case, then why is it that PCOS is so unheard of? When I see a segment in popular magazines about it, it’s prettied up and glimpsed over as a sidenote, although that for me seems to be a step in the right direction. Hey, it’s SOMETHING! It’s something *I* had never read in those same magazines when I was fourteen and struggling with it, so maybe it will help someone get the diagnosis they need.

And although I am still too inhibited to put all my symptoms out there, I feel no opposition to putting it in the tags. But, if you are a woman, or if you have young girls in your family that you care about, particularly if diabetes runs in your family, definitely look up PCOS. There are some informative videos on Youtube, as well as articles all around the web.

And hopefully, if you think you have it, this may inspire you to see a doctor about it. Even if it’s not PCOS, there may be an answer. I was lucky to have been diagnosed on my first doctor visit concerning the issue, but please, if you suspect something is wrong and aren’t getting a diagnosis, don’t give up! It also helps to go to doctors who are women-oriented and ask if the doctors on staff are familiar with PCOS, verilization, endometriosis and thyroid since sometimes those things can mimic each other, and thyroid can often accompany PCOS. Plus, knowing that a doctor who deals in PCOS lets you know that they have pretty much seen it all and helps to remove the insecurity about talking to them openly about your symptoms and why you think you may have PCOS.

It can often lead to other health issues, like full-on diabetes, hypertension, high cholesterol, and the list goes on, so it’s definitely not something to take lightly.

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Choppaboi Nick

Choppaboi Nick is quickly moving up in the music scene. You can check out his song, Coastin’, by clicking here. Parental advisory, please 🙂 When I first heard him, I knew there was something special about his sound. I love how everything comes together from the beat to his rhythmical lyrical flow. You can keep up with the latest by clicking here to like his Facebook fan page, and follow him on Twitter at @Choppaboi_Nick. Also, please don’t forget to subscribe to his Youtube channel!

He comes across as motivated, sincere, and genuine, and I feel privileged to have had the chance to chat with him about his music. I know he’s going to go far in the industry.

Choppaboi Nick 3JC:  What is it about creating music that made you decide, “OK. *THIS* is what I want to do.”?

Choppaboi:  As a pre-teen me and my friends always freestyled and played around rapping.We thought of ourselves as like Young Money or something because it was so much of us, but then I started taking it serious when my friend Trayvon Martin died because I set my mind to accomplish this for him and chase my dreams.

JC:  My sincerest sympathy goes out to you and everyone who knew him. I know you may not want to talk about it, but would you like to shed a little light on what kind of a friend he was to you?

Choppaboi:  He was a very joyful person, liked to joke around, play sports. He was like most average teens. Always kept it real, was very outgoing, but mostly funny.

JC:  That brought a smile to my face. I’m glad you’re able to find inspiration through him and have found your own drive to push forward in the music industry. What are some of things you want to accomplish as a musician?

Choppaboi:  I want to inspire people who do not believe in themselves enough to follow their dreams and not do what people want them to do, but do what they like to do and what brings joy to them. By that, if I was to inspire at least one person to chase their true dream I would feel accomplished.

JC:  Very nicely put! Who are some artists that you enjoy listening to?

Choppaboi:  2pac, Bone Thugs, Phil Collins. I mostly listen to everybody and study their style.    Choppaboi Nick 2

JC:  That’s great that you get into other styles because even when someone’s own work is genre-specific, there’s so much to be gleaned from everything that’s out there. On that note, there are some people who don’t “get” what rap and hip hop is about. Those are the people who have never really taken the time to listen to it which is unfortunate. As a lover and listener of hip hop I know what it means to me. But to you, as a listener *and* musician, what is it all about?

Choppaboi:  Rather than saying what rap is to me, music period is expressing yourself, releasing emotions; music should touch someone’s mind and soul in which it affects them where they can relate.

JC:  You’re absolutely right. People sometimes have this automatic block where they won’t give something a chance just because it falls into country or metal or whatever the case may be, but that’s so limiting! Rap is one of my favourites because I love how the lyrics flow into a story and mesh with a beat, and it’s thought-provoking, but I just love all music. I really think your answer may have inspired people to venture outside of their zones and try listening to something new. So given your appreciation for all music, have you ever thought of crossing over into another genre? Or maybe integrating a heavy influence of other styles into your music?

Choppaboi:  Actually yes, I am willing to do different types of genres involving music…I want to do reggae, rap, RnB, jazz and even learn to play musical instruments and many more.

JC:  I want to thank you so much for taking the time to answer my questions. It’s been a real privilege for me. What can we expect to see from you in the future, and what message would you like to relay to your fans?

Choppaboi:  You will see more music, I will start doing more videos, I will have clothing for my brand and to the fans keep supporting, and keep being you don’t let anyone stop you from chasing your dreams!

Choppaboi Nick

If you would like to book Choppaboi Nick, or for other professional inquiries, you can contact his agent at: choppaboibooking@gmail.com


Is that Rhianna or Blanche Devereaux? (PICTURES!)

I was watching the Rude Boy video by Rhianna and noticed a striking resemblence between her and Rue McClanahan (Blanche Devereaux for those of you who are out of the DoubleG loop). There are particular similarities between the two at the 40 second and 50 second marks. Here are some photos. Let’s compare and see if you can tell who is whom with a game I made up called “Is It RhiRhi or Rue?”

Rhianna           ruemcclanahan

See what I mean?

Rihanna or Blanche      Rihanna Rue

Now to be honest, I’ve forgotten who is who in these two. However, I’m assuming the black-and-white photograph is Rue, since she was around in the days of black-and-white photography. Then again, those funky colours are so totally 80s that Rue could be the one on the right! It looks an awful lot like her, so I’m going with the one on the right.

sexyruemcclanahan          Rue or RhiRhi

I think the answer is obvious here. The one on the left has got to be Rhianna because that sexy outfit and her unmistakable body just gives it away. And the one on the right in the sexy-cute sweater has got to be Rue.

Classy     TCDGOGI EC015

Although there is a marked difference in age when these two pictures were taken, I think we can pretty much see Rhianna’s future. She’s still going to be sexy at Blanche’s age in the photo on the right. And her age there is…forty. 😉

Hope you enjoyed playing the game!


7 Myths About Big Girls—DEBUNKED!!!

Everyone has all kinds of misconceptions about bigger girls, aka BBW’s. Let’s dispell some myths, shall we? This may not apply to everyone, but neither do the stereotypes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDSK91mUNLU

1.) Big girls are lazy.
Untrue. I know people who are on the plus side and they are active in every aspect of their lives, from work to exercise. You know those people who are just so nonstop to a point where it makes you feel inadequate? Yeah. They exist in BBW circles, too.

2.) Big girls don’t take care of themselves.
I spoke to someone who couldn’t gain weight, even though she tried. I know some BBW’s who take care of themselves and watch their diets and integrate exercise in their routines. It’s the same thing. Some people are thin no matter what they do and some people can’t lose the weight.

3.) Meat is for men, bones are for dogs.
Or however the saying goes. I get sick and tired of things that promote big girls over skinny girls. I don’t see one as being better over another. To me, saying we’re better merely because we’re bigger is an attempt to lift ourselves up over someone else based on something that warrants no merit on a person. I think we should all stop with the “skinny is better, bigger is better” talk and just consider plus sized women equal to a girl who happens to be thin, and vice versa. I’m not better than anyone else because of my size, but no one is better than me because of theirs.

4.) Big girls eat a lot more than a skinny girl.
There are some days when I’m starving and eat a lot more than necessary, but my skinny friends readily admit to having those days, too. A lot of my own weight is not because I eat too much, but because I forget to eat for hours on end. Then, by 4 or 5 in the afternoon, I am so hungry I have one big meal or a snack of the unhealthiest things you can imagine. The unhealthier my diet, and the less I eat (in terms of 1 meal a day instead of 3 or 5 small ones) the more I gain. I used to take my dinner plate and put on a normal size serving of everything and eat nothing for the rest of the night (dinner at my house was always around 4pm). So I started putting on the same amount, but I would only have half and save the other half for later, usually around two hours later. I lost weight with that alone. I have heard that some people are so self-conscious of their weight they try to hide whenever the eat anything at all, and sometimes people think it’s because they’re sneaking tons of food. Not necessarily the case.

5.) You can’t be bulimic unless you’re skinny.
And wrong again. It depends how much someone eats. I read that people with bulimia, as opposed to anorexia, are sometimes bigger than what you’d expect of someone with an eating disorder. That’s because of the sometimes larger intake of calories and junk. So don’t overlook the signs if you suspect someone has an eating disorder, just because their body type doesn’t fit the bill.

6.) Plus size girls have low self-esteem.
No. Personally I could care less about my size or anyone else’s, and because I’m comfortable with who I am, I don’t think people “see” my weight. There was a time when I felt it “identified” me and when I stopped obsessing over it, it seemed like people stopped fixating on it as well. In fact, there are a lot of people who are bigger and not only are they unapologetic, but they’re confident about their size. Imagine that!!! But it’s true.

7.) BBW’s have low standards on the dating scene and will take whatever they can get.
OK, now this one couldn’t be further from the truth. I don’t go out with people who are disrespectful to me, and I especially wouldn’t put up with it because I don’t think I can get better. If I give my time to someone, they had better be worthy of it (even if it’s a friend, which is why my circle is pretty tight). There are some guys who prefer thin girls and some who prefer bigger girls. Some don’t really care either way. There are BBW’s who prefer a muscular guy, and contrary to popular belief, there are “Guys like THAT” who like “Girls like us.” The number of thin and/or buff guys who are into plus sized girls actually surprised me. And it’s perfectly OK to accept nothing less than what you want and deserve, even if societal “law” dictates a false perception of the unattainable. I myself am happily single. I’ve found that having a steady boyfriend puts a damper on one’s dating life.

It would be nice to see a more well-rounded view on weight. People tend to address the overweight as being unhealth, but neglect the problem of focusing so much on it that so many girls out there are doing unhealthy things to lose it. I think all in all, people should accept themselves—and each other—for who the are, and not their size. I also think it’s important to focus on eating right and exercise whether a person is at their ideal weight or if they have some extra pounds. And even with that in mind, I think it’s also important to accept that not everyone is going to be the same. Not everyone is going to live the same lifestyle. Not everyone is going to be the same size and it’s perfectly OK. Because if we judge everyone’s expected behaviour by how they appear, we’ll never get past any of these unfair stereotypes.


Seiki: The Start of a Legend

Seiki: The Start of a Legend

Within just one year, give or take a couple of months, 22 year old Seiki has been rising up quickly
on the music scene. Having performedseiki in cities around Texas including Fort Worth, Burlison, Arlington, and Joshua, he has achieved much as a performer. Though he’s Texas-based and what some might call “Underground Hip Hop,” his fan base spans the U.S. and even stretches as far as the U.K. He was also featured as a guest on Davizea “RED” Washington’s radio show, Fuzion World Radio. His music was among the highlighted topic, but he also spoke his thoughts on the recent outcome of the George Zimmerman trial.

All of his achievements, and the fact that he rarely has a weekend off since his recent discovery as a hip hop artist, is testimony to his dedication and the hard work he has put forth in pursuing his dream which is rapidly coming to fruition.

But Seiki is not your typical rapper. He’s a poet. A performer. A dancer. An all-around entertainer, and a very humble, kind person. He has integrated the artistry of everything it takes to bring the A-Game to the table in order to stand above the competition. He can freestyle like no other and in my opinion, would have no trouble keeping up with some of the top names.

When it comes down to art it’s important to expand one’s horizons in order to grow. You can tell Seiki is a hip hop artist, but at the same time you can listen to his music and pick up on the fact that he doesn’t strictly listen to one style because there’s a tone of diversity in his music, along with a trademark mellow flow set to a beat that conveys the emotion of the lyrics. He takes it very seriously and puts forth a tremendous amount of energy that keeps him busy, but at the same time, is able to have fun with it.

For Seiki, it’s not about money or fame, though he projects that image in his performances. Instead, it extends deeper into a genuine love of what he does. And, of course, it’s largely about his fans and supporters. He tries to stay in contact with his fans and uses his voice to make a difference. It’s evident that his style is “confidence,” not “ego.” That’s what makes him special, what makes him stand out, and it’s that same overall attitude of modesty that is taking him straight to the top.

Though there are some who are not quite familiar with the name Seiki, it’s only a matter of time before it’s on the tongues of every hip hop enthusiast around the globe. There are a lot of people who focus on mainstream instead of giving a listen to an artist they’ve never heard of before. But hey, remember that Tupac had to start somewhere, right?

For bookings, fan mail, or if you would like to help sponsor him, you can contact him through his fan page via Facebook, Seiki Hip Hop.


Another Time, Another Place – HORROR

This is another short story that I am considering featuring in the anthology, but I would love to have some feedback. Please spread it around and post, comment, repost and reblog please. And thank you in advance for the support. It is a rough draft so please don’t be too harsh about grammatical or punctuation errors, but also please don’t hesitate to draw my attention to it.

Another Time, Another Place

“Dammit, Grayson! I trusted you!” Nomie screamed, throwing his phone across the room in a fit of rage after he screamed at her for invading his privacy when she insisted upon looking through his texts. It hit the wall and she hoped she’d broken it to smithereens. She wanted to throw the computer across the room after she’d found his email open but was hoping to have a civilized talk about it first.

“It’s not what you think! Tony has been the one talking to all those girls! I don’t know why you’re going through all my stuff, anyway. I have nothing to hide!”

“Using your email? Really? And how dare you accuse me of not trusting you; I did until I saw those messages, and it’s not like I deliberately went on the computer to look at your stuff! I’ve never questioned you about your privacy before, but if you have nothing to hide then why did you make such a big deal about it when I asked for your phone PIN? How stupid do you think I am?”

“I don’t!” Grayson protested. “I don’t think you’re stupid. If Tony’s wife would have found out she would have freaked! That’s why I gave him my email info so he can use it from his house.”

Nomie’s world spun and as he spoke, she started to believe his words. He was so warm, so convincing. She knew that he would never hurt her. But that night as he held her in bed, something inside her kept her awake as he held her. She cried silently to herself as he snored in a deep sleep, cutting through her eardrums.

She wriggled out of his tight grip and went to the bathroom to wipe her face. How could he do something like that to her? He wouldn’t. She knew that in her heart. It was stupid of her to read his emails even if he’d left it open. He was right when he accused her of not trusting him after she questioned him about cheating. She looked in the mirror at her puffy-eyed reflection and scolded herself for being so silly. Then she slipped back into bed to a troubled night of sleep.

The next day while Grayson was at work, Nomie tried to forget it all but she just couldn’t focus. She sat at the computer to get some work done for her boss, the invoices she had planned to have done the day before when she ran across the email that stared her in the face, telling Tony, or Grayson, as she didn’t know what to believe, how good he was in bed. But she didn’t get past typing the date. May 10, 2015. She started crying, remembering what she’d found the morning before. She remembered that the phone had hit the wall but wasn’t sure about the damage yet. She went to where it had hit but it was gone, so she walked into the kitchen to grab a soda and found the phone on the kitchen counter. It was banged up pretty good and didn’t seem to work. Curious, she tried to turn it on—Nothing. He probably left it knowing it was a goner. Or was it?

She plugged it into the charger and turned it on. There were signs of life in it! He’d never given her the passcode but she tried the PIN from their mutual bank account. It worked, but she wished it hadn’t. The text messages and voicemails she found were heartbreaking. She recognized a few of the girls’ names from his email account, and she knew from what was said that the messages were not intended for Tony as he’d claimed, but had to be for Grayson. The last one she read before breaking down was sent ten minutes ago. “Where r u? R we still on for lunch today?” It was from some girl named Chrissy, the girl he talked to most.

In a midst of a panic attack the size of Texas, Nomie slunk to the kitchen floor and sobbed uncontrollably, saying an unintelligible prayer that it would all go away and that things would be different. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to know about these things, but she wished he’d never betrayed her trust. She knew she had to leave him, but how could she? She hadn’t heard his side, so maybe there was an explanation like with the emails. And maybe he’d die in a horrible accident on the way home and she wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore. She felt guilt at her hope for his demise.

A cold wind whooshed by her, but she was too busy to truly notice. A few minutes later, she felt a presence. There was a thing standing in her kitchen that looked like a shadow that had been burnt to a crisp, but there was something sympathetic in its blue eyes as it looked upon her. She felt a calm about this entity, as if he, or she or it, was going to make everything okay.

“I know what happened, you poor thing. And I can make it all go away.”

She was desperate but cautious as she stared at it for a moment, trying to take it all in. Maybe it was just a hallucination. “How?” she asked, drawing the word out with skeptical reservation.

“He betrayed you. I can take you back to another time, another place, before the betrayal began. I can make it so that it never happened.”

“You can take us back to before all of this even started?”

“Yes,” said the crispy creature. “But in exchange, you have to give me your soul. Fair deal?”

“What does that mean?” she asked hesitantly.

“It means you can have happiness with your beloved once again while you’re both here on Earth, but your soul will be mine for Eternity.”

Without putting any thought into anything else that the Shadow-Thing said except for “happiness with your beloved once again,” she sniffled and whispered a feeble, “Fair enough.”

“And one more thing. You won’t remember anything that happened these last few days. I wouldn’t want that interfering with your happiness. I’ll take you back to a time before the affairs began.”

“When was that?”

“Chrissy was the first. He started a friendship with her on February the fifteenth of 2013. Do you remember the day before? He took you out to a nice Valentine’s Day dinner. He even went into work earlier than he had to because he couldn’t bear being home without you. That morning, they both stopped in to get a cup of coffee at the convenience store and stood in line together. Every day after that, Chrissy stopped at the store hoping to catch him and even waited until she saw his car before she’d set foot in the store. It was around March that he started falling for her and took her up on a lunch date, and when he got away with seeing her, he started seeing the others. But I’m sure I’ve already told you more than you can handle in your delicate state. I can change all that; I can make it so that they never even cross paths.”

“That bastard!” Nomie screamed. She thought of how she and Grayson had a nice dinner and went home early since they both had to work the next day, but they made up for the early-night-in in bed. Afterwards, he spooned her and gave her small kisses along her shoulder, caressing her body gently with his fingertips as he whispered sweet words in her ear. “I love you, baby. I hope I made your Valentine’s Day as good as you’ve made mine,” he said as she drifted to sleep, still feeling his loving touch on her skin. It was so perfect. “And I’ll forget all of this?”

“Yes.”

She sighed, desperate for relief from the pain in her mind, heart and body. “Yes.”

Suddenly everything went black. She woke up on February the Fourteenth, 2013. It was the same as it was two years ago, but she didn’t remember it. She had a sense of deja vu all day but couldn’t pinpoint exactly why. But she ignored it. She was just excited to get home from work after he’d sent her a text about how he had a special surprise for her.

That night she went to bed feeling the most love for him she’d ever known for anyone. From the Five-Star restaurant to the sex, everything was perfect as she curled up in his arms and fell asleep in a state of euphoric bliss under his touch.

The next morning she still felt that sense of deja vu, but was still high from the magic of the night before to think much of it. He sat on the bed buttoning his shirt with a sly smile, He motioned to her with a “come here” gesture and pulled her in, giving her a long, seductive kiss. “Too much of that and both of us will be late to work. If we make it in at all,” he laughed. “That would be fine by me,” she said, wishing she could just lay in bed with him all day. Then she looked at her watch. “Well I’d better get going, I think I’m going to be cutting it a bit short here.”

“All right, baby. I still have forty-five minutes, maybe an hour before I have to leave. Gonna be lonely here without you.” He gave her a sad puppy dog look and she smiled. Then he pulled her in for one final kiss before she left the room. He heard some noise from the kitchen before the front door closed and her car started up. He felt so much more love from him than ever, but couldn’t figure out why. Maybe it was last night’s escapade. And he also had a strange sense of deja vu.

He was going to leave early because the night before was so wonderful with Nomie that he was missing her like crazy, but something told him not to. It was a nagging feeling in his gut that if he left early, things wouldn’t pan out the way that Fate, or possibly some other Entity, had designed it to. Instead, he passed time by sending out a few emails. He didn’t realize that he’d let time slip away and then he headed out the door, knowing he would have to speed a little to get to work in time.

It was around 9:51 on the morning of February 15th that Nomie received the call that Grayson had been in a terrible accident. “Is he okay?” she asked with her heart pounding.

The officer on the other line hesitated before saying, “I’m sorry; Grayson didn’t make it.” He didn’t want to tell her that not only had his car been T-boned by a big rig, but it had pretty much crushed Grayson’s car with him in it. He had briefly rehearsed the right words to say to her before calling, but in a situation like this, he found it difficult.

A guy from the cleanup crew yelled, “We got another chunk of him over here!” as the officer grimaced at the lack of couth, hoping his voice hadn’t carried over the phone.

As the officer explained what had happened, Nomie crumpled to the floor, screaming as her co-workers ran to her to see what was wrong. her boss drove her home, promising that he would look after her car and told her to keep in touch and take a little time off if she needed to.

Grayson’s family was notified by police, which she was grateful for since she barely had the strength to relay it to her mother without choking up. Her mother called the rest of the family and ten minutes later showed up at her doorstep.

Nomie was quiet and could barely eat. She went into the corner of the living room where the computer was and noticed that Grayson hadn’t turned his computer off. Desperate to know what some of his last thoughts were, she sifted through his “sent” folder. Every message she came across mentioned her in some way, but the very last one was to his brother who was having girl troubles.

“If you ever find a girl like Nomie, don’t let her go. I hope someday you’re as lucky as I am.”

The tears began to flow in a neverending torrent. He was the most loving, caring, faithful and loyal husband any woman could ask for.


The Liebster Awards

I’m so flattered! 😀

The Liebster Awards.